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About Not Invented Here

The Cast

Behind each great piece of software is a talented, conscientious team of hardworking individuals dedicated to producing the highest quality product using internationally accepted best practices and industry standards.

Then there are these guys:


is a program manager at Super Loose Slots Win Win Win Bingo LLC (SLSWWWBLLC). He writes specifications, manages the schedule, and coordinates with his counterparts in the rest of the company. Supposedly. Owen is extremely enthusiastic about creating professional training films.


is a developer. He takes Owen’s specs and turns them into living breathing code. He believes programming is an art, and you can’t rush art. He and Owen once left to start their own software company, OWND, which was bought back by SLSWWWBLLC. Recently Desmond was promoted and now runs the product development group.


is a student and former intern at SLSWWWBLLC and OWND. As a side project, he and Desmond are developing some kind of app.


is Desmond’s pet hamster. Or, possibly, Desmond is Meatloaf’s pet developer.


(rhymes with “Kong”) is the group’s tester. She doesn’t have anything against the developers. She just likes breaking things. She is dating Umesh, much to her own surprise.


is an acerbic developer. He is dating Fang, much to his own surprise.


was Desmond’s senior project in college, now upgraded to the latest developments in A.I. and programmed by Owen to be his ideal marketer. Owen isn’t the best programmer.


is a total disgusting disaster of a human being and an HR nightmare. It is a mystery why he hasn’t been fired or, better yet, euthanized.


enjoys terrible jokes, pina coladas, and talking walks in the rain.


is incredibly reliable.

Barley Haymaker

is the product architect. He draws flowcharts using advanced shapes that haven’t been invented yet.

Emerson Ali

is an independent contractor. He works out.

Geordi’s Grandma

was an investor at OWND, and after the buyout became Chairman of the Board at SLSWWWBLLC.

Pritchett and Jerry

are the founders of JETT.


is the former vice president of product development at SLSWWWBLLC. After his overpriced buyout of OWND he was removed from his job, failed to become a successful Hollywood producer, and landed on his feet as CEO of JETT.


is a former program manager and vice president of product development, recently fired for gross ethical violations after conspiring with Art to engineer a (failed) takeover of SLSWWWBLLC.

The Talent

Bill Barnes (creator, writer, occasional artist)

is on his third decade in the software industry working a variety of jobs from coding to speechwriting, with occasional detours as a professional cartoonist. He drew and co-wrote Unshelved, and enjoys playing the ukulele and absolutely butchering the bass guitar.

Paul Southworth (artist 2009-2011, occasional writer)

is a cartoonist and writer who has been making comics for over 25 years. He lives in New England with his wife, 3 kids, 2 dogs, a guinea pig, a dwarf hamster and probably a whole bunch of spiders.

Jeff Zugale (artist 2012-present)

does concept art and storyboards for Hollywood and video games and can be found making other nerdy art. In what little spare time he has left, Jeff is a motorcyclist, a hair-metal rocker and also sometimes sleeps.

This Website

is a hybrid static/dynamic site built with AstroJS, running on Netlify, but Bill is constantly messing with things.

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